Money Talks: Navigating Finances Before Saying ‘I Do’
Written By Rose Jamili, Associate
Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships, yet many couples avoid discussing it before marriage. While talking about finances may not feel romantic, having honest money conversations before tying the knot is essential for a strong, long lasting relationship. Here’s how to navigate tough financial discussions with your partner-without the stress or drama.
Create a Judgment-Free Space for Open Communication
Money can be a sensitive topic, especially if one or both partners have financial struggles, debt, or different spending habits. Set the tone by:
- Choosing a relaxed, non-judgmental setting (a casual coffee date or quiet dinner).
- Agreeing that the conversation is about understanding, not blaming.
- Approaching finances as a team, rather than opposing sides.
Tip: Start with a positive mindset-“! want us to be financially strong together.”
Discuss Your Financial History & Money Mindset
Our views on money often come from how we were raised. Understanding your partner’s financial background can help explain their habits. Ask each other:
- How did your family handle money growing up?
- Are you more of a spender or a saver?
- What financial habits stress you out the most?
This conversation helps uncover any deep-seated money beliefs that may impact your future financial decisions.
Lay Everything on the Table: Income, Debt & Credit
Transparency is key. Before marriage, both partners should disclose:
- Income – Salaries, side hustles, investments.
- Debt – Student loans, credit cards, car payments.
- Credit Scores – Credit health & borrowing power.
Why This Matters:
Hidden debt or financial surprises can erode trust in a marriage. If your partner is carrying debt, you need to discuss a repayment plan and how it may impact your shared financial future.
Talk About Bank Accounts: Joint, Separate, or Both?
One of the biggest decisions couples make is how to manage their bank accounts. Some options include:
- Fully Joint Accounts – All money is pooled together.
- Fully Separate Accounts – Each person keeps their own money.
- Hybrid Approach – A mix of joint and separate accounts (e.g., a shared account for bills but personal accounts for spending).
No right or wrong answer! The key is finding a system that works for both of you.
Align on Lifestyle & Spending Priorities
Everyone has different views on what’s worth spending money on. One person may love designer fashion, while the other prioritizes travel. Discuss:
- What’s a necessary expense vs. a luxury?
- How much should we save each month?
- What’s our plan for big purchases (home, car, vacations)?
Tip: Setting a “fun money” budget can prevent arguments over personal spending.
Plan for Emergencies & Long-Term Goals
Financial planning isn’t just about today-it’s about preparing for the future. Talk about:
- Emergency Fund – How much should we save for unexpected expenses?
- Retirement – Are we saving enough?
- Life Insurance & Estate Planning – What happens if one of us becomes unable to work?
Having a financial safety net ensures security for both partners.
Discuss the Prenup Conversation (Even If You Don’t Think You Need One)
A prenuptial agreement isn’t about planning for divorce-it’s about setting fair financial expectations. A prenup can:
- Protect pre-marital assets.
- Outline business ownership rights.
- Define how debts and finances will be handled.
If one or both partners have significant assets, a family business, or prior financial obligations, a prenup can prevent legal conflicts later.
Schedule Regular Money Check-Ins
Financial conversations aren’t one-time discussions they should continue throughout your marriage.
Set a monthly or quarterly “money date” to review:
- Bills & savings progress.
- Upcoming financial goals.
- Any changes in income or expenses.
Why? Regular check-ins prevent financial surprises and help both partners feel in control of their financial future.
Final Thought: Love & Money Go Hand-in-Hand
Talking about money before marriage can feel uncomfortable, but it’s one of the best ways to build trust and avoid future conflicts. Open conversations about finances show that you and your partner are committed to a future of honesty, teamwork, and financial security.
Love thrives when both partners are financially aligned.
